Listen to Your Life, and Take Notes
I recently completed Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak, a quick read that gave me a lot to think about, and the idea that stayed with me most was right there in the title: listen to your life. It sounds simple, but it takes intention and effort and commitment.
Palmer writes that from our earliest days in school, we learn to listen to almost everyone and everything except ourselves. We look outward for guidance about what we should do, what success looks like, and who we should become. I’ve certainly done plenty of that.
Instead of continually asking What should I do with my life? Ask a different question What has my life already been trying to tell me?
That question feels particularly meaningful to me at this stage of my life. I have a lot more evidence to work with than I did at 25 or 45. There are decades of experiences, relationships, successes, disappointments, wrong turns, things that energized me and things that absolutely did not. What can I learn from all of that?
Take Notes on Your Life
Palmer suggests that if we learn to read our responses to our own experiences, we can find guidance for living more authentically. I love this idea. We take notes on books we read, podcasts we listen to, classes we attend, meetings we sit through. What if we became equally intentional about taking notes on our own lives?
What keeps showing up?
When have I felt most alive?
What kinds of people and places give me energy?
What am I drawn toward again and again?
What have I tried that hasn't worked?
I started journaling in earnest this year and after reading Palmer’s book, I recognize that it has given me a place to listen, to pay attention to what my life may be saying. And when I look backward, some patterns seem pretty clear.
I love people. I love learning. I love conversation. I love being part of communities and helping to build connections. And I find enormous satisfaction in helping people who are helping others. These traits have appeared in different forms throughout my life.
This month, I’ve started a doctoral program based on, yes, listening to my life. On the surface, it might look like something new. But it isn't. It aligns with two of my core values: curiosity and lifelong learning. This will give me another opportunity to learn, certainly, but also to engage with people across generations, develop relationships, participate in a university community, and see where all of that might lead.
A Calling
Palmer distinguishes between vocation as a goal we pursue and vocation as a calling we hear. I'm not sure many of us have one grand calling, and I'm not convinced that we're all supposed to find one.
But I do know this: I want to help people help people. I thrive on it.
I may not always be the person on the front lines. I've spent enough time in service-oriented work and community organizing to know something about my strengths and my limitations. My role is to equip, encourage, connect, teach, mentor, organize, or otherwise support people who are doing the work.
And maybe recognizing that isn't settling for something less. Maybe it's listening. What’s your life telling you? Are you listening?
Keep Listening
I don't think the point of all this is to finally "figure yourself out." I'm not sure we ever do. Perhaps the practice is simply to become better listeners.
Listen to what brings you joy.
Listen to what gives you energy and what depletes it.
Listen to the relationships and communities in which you feel most yourself.
Listen to your strengths and your limitations.
Listen to what worked and what didn't.
Listen for the things you somehow can't not do.
And take notes!