Values, Purpose, and the Next Chapter
For much of our lives, it's easy to define ourselves by what we do. Our job title. Our profession. Our organization. The roles we play in our families and friendships and communities.
Then something changes. A job ends. We retire. We move. A relationship shifts. We step away from a leadership position. And suddenly we're left asking a different question: Who am I when I'm no longer doing the thing that helped define me?
That question became very real for me after stepping down from a senior leadership role in the nonprofit community. Around that same time, I was reading and listening to thinkers like Maya Shankar, who encourages us to define ourselves not by what we do but by why we do it. More recently, I listened to a podcast, about personal values that helped connect several dots for me.
The wonderful guest, Bridget Berkland, described values as deeply held beliefs that define what matters most to us. They influence how we think, feel, and act. More importantly, they shape our identity.
I loved one metaphor in particular: values are our GPS that guide our decisions and behaviors. After identifying your values, think through your purpose, vision, and mission which reinforce each other. Purpose is the fuel that drives us. Vision is the destination we hope to reach, the future we want to create. Mission is what we do each day to get there. Without that GPS, it's easy to drift.
One reason many of us struggle to identify our values is that we confuse them with preferences, goals, or personality traits. A value might be lifelong learning. A goal might be completing a graduate degree. A preference might be in-person rather than online classes. The goal can be completed. The preference can change. But the value remains.
Similarly, a value might be connection. The way we live that value may evolve over time, from building workplace relationships, to volunteering, to mentoring students, to gathering friends for coffee, but the underlying value stays constant.
The podcast offered a simple test for identifying meaningful values. They should be:
Authentic: genuinely yours, not borrowed from someone else.
Actionable: something you can actively practice.
Aligned: connected to your purpose, mission, and vision.
Anchoring: able to guide what you think, feel, and do.
When I look back on periods when I've felt most fulfilled, certain themes consistently appear. Like curiosity and the way it fuels other values like lifelong learning, a growth mindset, and well-being. Connection and the way it informs other values like community and belonging. And service and the way it guides the work I do and the opportunities I engage. When I look at times when I've felt frustrated or disconnected, it's often because one or more of those values wasn't being expressed.
Values are never finished. You can complete a project or achieve a goal, but you never finish living a value. Perhaps that's why values become especially important during life's transitions. When a role changes, values remain. When a title disappears, values remain. When an unexpected or challenging situation in life occurs, values remain. Our core values become the thread connecting different chapters of our lives.
One final exercise from the podcast stood out: audit your calendar. If someone examined how you spend your time, what would they conclude you value? The answer may also reveal a gap between what you say matters and what actually receives your attention.
I'm still doing this work myself, as I think about the next chapter of my life: returning to school, continuing to write, building community, strengthening relationships, finding new ways to contribute, and always keeping in mind that it’s not about accomplishing more, but about living my values.