Values, Purpose, and the Next Chapter

Over the past couple of years, I've spent a lot of time thinking about identity. For much of our lives, it's easy to define ourselves by what we do. Our job title. Our profession. Our organization. The roles we play in our families and communities.

Then something changes. A job ends. We retire. We move. A relationship shifts. We step away from a leadership position. And suddenly we're left asking a different question: Who am I when I'm no longer doing the thing that helped define me?

That question became very real for me after stepping down from a senior leadership role in the nonprofit community. Around that same time, I began reading and listening to thinkers like Maya Shankar, who encourages us to define ourselves not by what we do but by why we do it. More recently, I listened to a podcast, about personal values that helped connect several dots for me.

The wonderful guest, Bridget Berkland, described values as deeply held beliefs that define what matters most to us. They influence how we think, feel, and act. More importantly, they shape our identity.

I loved one metaphor in particular: values are our GPS. Our values guide our decisions and behaviors. Purpose is the fuel that drives us. Vision is the destination we hope to reach. Mission is what we do each day to get there. Without that GPS, it's easy to drift.

One reason many of us struggle to identify our values is that we confuse them with preferences, goals, or personality traits. A value might be learning. A goal might be completing a graduate degree. A preference might be listening to podcasts rather than reading books. The goal can be completed. The preference can change. But the value remains.

Similarly, a value might be connection. The way we live that value may evolve over time, from building workplace relationships, to volunteering, to mentoring students, to gathering friends for coffee, but the underlying value stays constant.

The podcast offered a simple test for identifying meaningful values. They should be:

• Authentic: genuinely yours, not borrowed from someone else.

• Actionable: something you can actively practice.

• Aligned: connected to your purpose, mission, and vision.

• Anchoring: able to guide what you think, feel, and do.

That last one resonated with me. When I look back on periods when I've felt most fulfilled, certain themes consistently appear. Like curiosity and the way it fuels other values like lifelong learning and well-being. Connection and the way it informs other values like community and belonging. And service and the way it guides the work I do and the opportunities I engage. When I look at times when I've felt frustrated or disconnected, it's often because one or more of those values wasn't being expressed.

The podcast also offered a practical exercise. Start by identifying three to seven values that matter most to you. Then create what they called "being goals." Instead of focusing only on what you want to accomplish, focus on who you want to be.

"I practice my value of curiosity by being open to new ideas and lifelong education."

"I practice my value of connection by being proactive, present and intentional in my relationships."

“I practice my value of service by sharing my experience to help others navigate challenges."

The beauty of this approach is that values are never finished. You can complete a project, earn a degree, or achieve a goal. But you never finish living a value. Perhaps that's why values become especially important during life's transitions. When a role changes, values remain. When a title disappears, values remain. They become the thread connecting different chapters of our lives.

One final exercise from the podcast stood out: audit your calendar and your spending. If someone examined how you spend your time and money, what would they conclude you value? The answer may be encouraging. It may also reveal a gap between what you say matters and what actually receives your attention.

I'm still doing this work myself. As I think about the next chapter of my life: returning to school, continuing to write, building community, strengthening relationships, and finding new ways to contribute, I'm becoming less focused on specific roles and more focused on the values underneath them.

Because perhaps the goal isn't simply to accomplish more. Perhaps the goal is to become more intentional about living what matters most. After all, if values truly are our GPS, then knowing where we're headed begins with knowing what guides us.