What is Your Why?

“Try to define yourself not simply by what you do - roles or labels - but by why you do those things.” Maya Shankar

A year and a half ago I stepped down from a leadership role at a civil justice nonprofit to start a solo practice. What I didn't anticipate was what I'd lose: community, connection, belonging, even a sense of mattering.

Over the past year I've been thinking a lot about what those losses revealed about belonging and purpose and what it means to matter. And I've been lucky: sometimes you find exactly the right voice at exactly the right moment. For me, that voice belonged to Maya Shankar, cognitive scientist, host of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, author of The Other Side of Change, and former Senior Advisor in the Obama White House. I recommend checking out her podcast and digging into the archives.

She writes about her love of human connection: "I am a person who thrives on emotional connections with others."

I felt like I was looking into a mirror. My blog is called Connection!

This is also my why: a deep love of human connection, rooted in genuine curiosity and the power of community. I'm energized by learning, having deep conversations that lead to meaningful connections, which leads to helping people feel supported, empowered, and seen. And that gives me, in return, a sense of belonging, of purpose, of mattering. 

Shankar also writes: "Just because I lost the violin, that didn't mean I lost what led me to love it in the first place. It's just a matter of finding new outlets to express these parts of myself."

I've taken that to heart. I've found stimulating and inspiring new outlets, including going back to school at this later stage in life, as I explore moving toward education, empowering younger people before the crisis arrives, and toward older adults to activate their sense of purpose, of belonging, of mattering, as they navigate significant transitions in life. 

I'm not sure where it will all lead. But it's liberating to stop defining myself by what I do and start living into why I do it.

What is your why?