Who Has Helped You Feel Like You Matter?

I've spent a lot of time thinking and writing about connection, belonging, and purpose. Lately, I've consistently come across another word in my reading and listening that sits alongside them: mattering.

I recently listened to a conversation between Jennifer Wallace and Vivek Murthy on the Staying Human podcast, and one idea has stayed with me: Mattering is feeling valued by the people and communities around us, and having opportunities to add value in return.

That last part struck me. Mattering isn't just about being appreciated. It's also about actively letting others know that they’re appreciated, showing them that they matter.

It's easy to tie our sense of worth to our work, our accomplishments, or what other people think of us. But what happens when we retire, change careers, leave a job, or simply enter a new season of life?

That part landed deeply with me. Two years ago, I stepped away from a full-time nonprofit leadership role. Like many people, I had received regular reminders that I mattered: through colleagues, teams, projects, and the impact of the work. When those daily affirmations suddenly disappear on a regular basis, it's natural to wonder where your sense of mattering comes from.

Transitions can be tough and impact our sense of mattering, but I've come to realize that work was never the source of mattering. It was simply one place where I experienced it regularly.

Another insight from the conversation resonated: asking for help, feedback, perspective, can be an act of generosity. When we trust someone enough to reach out, we're also telling them, "You matter to me." We give them the opportunity to make a difference. To know that they matter.

One practical suggestion from the episode was beautifully simple: write a "mattering note" to someone in your life. Tell them how they've made a difference. We tend to think these things far more often than we say them.

Who is someone who has helped you feel like you matter? Have you told them lately?