Designing a Life of Connection and Community
I’ve been thinking a lot about community lately: what it is, what it requires, and what it gives back.
Not the passive version. Not the “I’m part of a few groups” version. But the intentional kind. The kind you design.
Because community, like anything meaningful in our lives, doesn’t just happen. It’s not something we stumble into if we're lucky. It’s built. Shaped. Nurtured over time.
This shift in thinking was sparked, in part, by reading Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. The book is about applying design thinking to your life, not waiting for clarity, but creating it through action.
At its core, the message is simple: Get curious. Talk to people. Try stuff. Tell your story.
When I think about connection and community through that lens, something clicks. Community isn’t something you find. It’s something you design.
Start with curiosity, not certainty
We’re often told to “find our people” or “build our network,” as if there’s a fixed answer waiting out there.
But life design offers a different starting point: curiosity.
What if instead of asking, Where do I belong? we asked:
What communities am I curious about?
What conversations do I want to be part of?
Who is doing work that energizes me?
Curiosity lowers the stakes. It invites exploration rather than pressure.
And when it comes to community, that matters. Because the most meaningful connections rarely come from a perfectly executed plan. They come from showing up with genuine interest.
Don’t find your community—develop it
One of the most freeing ideas in life design is this: don’t find your passion, develop your passion.
The same applies to building community.
There isn’t one perfect community waiting for you. There are many possible communities you could be part of, each offering something different, each shaping you in different ways.
Your community might span:
Your vocation or professional work
Academic or learning spaces
Social or civic engagement
Faith or spiritual practices
Alumni networks
Creative pursuits
Family and close relationships
The point isn’t to pick the “right” one. It’s to actively build and participate in the ones that matter to you.
And that requires intention.
Bias to action: connection happens in motion
It’s easy to overthink community.
To read, reflect, and plan…without actually engaging.
Life design pushes in the opposite direction: bias to action.
If you want to build community:
Reach out to someone whose work resonates with you
Show up to an event, even if you’re not sure what you’ll get from it
Volunteer your time
Start a small gathering around a shared interest
Follow up after a conversation that felt meaningful
These are small moves. Prototypes, really.
And that’s the point.
You don’t need to design your entire “community strategy.” You just need to try something that creates the possibility of connection.
Prototype your way into belonging
In design thinking, prototyping isn’t about getting it right. It’s about learning.
A prototype is a low-stakes way to explore a possibility.
Community works the same way.
You don’t commit to a community for life on day one. You try things:
Attend a few meetups
Join a cohort or learning group
Have a series of one-on-one conversations
Collaborate on a short-term project
Each experience gives you data, not in a formal sense, but in how it feels:
Did this energize me?
Did I feel a sense of belonging?
Did I contribute in a meaningful way?
Over time, patterns emerge.
And slowly, what started as experiments begins to feel like home.
Reframe the problem: it’s not about access, it’s about intention
Sometimes we tell ourselves we don’t have community because we don’t have access.
But often, the deeper issue is something else: we haven’t been intentional.
“I don’t have community” can feel overwhelming. But reframed:
I haven’t reached out to anyone this month
I haven’t followed up on conversations that mattered
I haven’t created space for connection in my schedule
Those are actionable. And that’s where change begins.
Radical collaboration: community is co-created
One of the most powerful ideas in life design is radical collaboration.
We don’t design our lives alone. And we don’t build community alone.
Connection is built through:
Listening deeply
Asking thoughtful questions
Showing up consistently
Offering support without immediate expectation
Strong communities aren’t built on expertise or status. They’re built on intention and presence.
And they require participation.
Designing your “community portfolio”
In the book, there’s an idea of balancing different areas of life: health, work, play, and love.
You might think of community in a similar way.
Instead of one single community, consider a portfolio:
A professional community that challenges and grows you
A social or creative community that brings joy
A service-oriented community where you contribute
A close-knit circle of trusted relationships
Each serves a different purpose. Together, they create a fuller experience of connection.
Consistency over intensity
Healthy communities don’t depend on grand gestures. They’re built through consistency.
Showing up regularly. Staying in touch. Following through.
It doesn’t have to be frequent, but it does have to be intentional.
A monthly gathering. A standing call. A recurring check-in.
Over time, these rhythms create trust. And trust is the foundation of belonging.
A well-designed life is a connected life
At the end of the day, life design isn’t about optimizing outcomes. It’s about engaging in the process.
And when we look back, it’s unlikely that what will matter most are the outputs or achievements. It will be the people. The conversations. The shared work. The moments of connection.
We all want to know that we mattered to someone. That we contributed. That we were part of something larger than ourselves.
That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when we design for it. Making connections. Designing your community. One small, intentional step at a time.